Let me
speak to you
About some
of the people
Living in my
head
Together in
that bubble
They have come up
With great ideas and
Often with nothing or
Nothing but a mess
Overwhelming chaos
Made me think I was mental
Surely, all
of them swim and dive
Demand to
be heard
I often
wondered
How to keep
them in check
I admit, by
now
I’ve kind
of given up on that
I've grown into a parent, grandparent rather
Watching them quarrel, knowingly
They will quiet down eventually
Fall asleep, exhausted by themselves
The entire lot of them
I feel for them compassion
Accepting them
I feel for them love
There is
that old and cranky one
He is a complainer,
is always sick
He prefers
to live on the couch and do nothing
I used to fight
him, by now I feel softer
And his
wife, she always knows better
Sends me to
check bills and duties
Sends me off to study and work
Likes counting
and certificates
Likes to
clean and declutter
Especially when I am not up for it
They have a
son, he drinks like a pig
I would do
too with parents like that
And his
sister, she always gets mad
At me for
not showing up
To family
gatherings and funerals
She has a baby,
who keeps crying
At the top
of that tiny lung
For not
being born
And a
little brother, who likes to play
But never
speaks up
He is a
class clown, nobody knows
He keeps
his jokes a secret
Mostly because his father is a perfectionist
No joke is good enough for him, he never laughs
He has an elder cousin, let's call him
The regretful one, he regrets his entire life
Every decision, he even regrets
Knowing people, he regrets
Friendships and relationships and opening up
To anyone - vulnerability hangover maxed out
This is also where resentment lives
They have a sister, who has gone into mourning
Not just about death, but about the pointlessness
Of existence and humanity drowning itself
In war, in terror, torture and pain
She has lost her words and weeps without end
Every minute, every second is hurting
Unending torment
There is
that aunt, quiet and studious
Who prefers
to live in books
We don’t
know much about her
But they say
that she has many grand ideas
If she was not reading all the time
She would be an inventor
I think she lives in shame and also in guilt
Because her twin-sister, who was a curious child
Would have been innovative, a creator, always anew
If her curiosity had not led her
To the edge of that cliff
She fell down and died
Their mother is forgetful, better she is
She keeps all the memories
And secrets, also the ugly ones
I keep the key to her vault concealed
Inside a voiceless song - quietly she walks along
Her father is a chameleon, he likes to dress up
Play pretend, he likes glitter, lipstick, jewelry
Fast cars and designer clothes
Sex, drugs and temerity, the rush
Nothing stops him, he is reckless, no shame, no regrets
No meditation, mindfulness, ha, he spurns
Every thought of that, nothing and no one can police him
Can you imagine, his brother is quiet, pure and innocent?
I wonder which of the two would instigate a rebellion
Isn't it time for an uprising?! I guess, both of them would
Liberation and freedom for all!
Every single one of them!
I also have an elder brother, he doesn't exist but
I always wished he did, he makes me feel
Safe and at home and good
He shows up when there is need for a friend
He lets me be
His little sister
The one I never was, I always was the elder one
Serious, grown up, responsible
How to live up to that?
Then there are
those crazy uncles
They say they
are good for nothing
They will always be kids
Two daydreamers
who live in the woods
Play with wild
animals and swim in rivers
Dive head down into waterfalls
One is a painter, a musician the other
I wished
they’d get more credit for that
They have a
cousin, an adventurer
She travels
the world and fights for justice, too
She is fierce and independent, powerful
Speaks many
languages
Without
learning the words, she just knows
She is
always broke
She doesn't care for riches
Another
cousin lives in a cave
He prefers
darkness and winter
They say,
he harbours some wisdom
Writes
poetry, sometimes
He won’t
come out for weeks
His sister
is a dancer, she often tries
To convince
him to join her to a club
He never
gives in and sometimes goes mad
Luckily, she
has a good neighbour, who likes to jump in
She is a teacher
with a wide-open heart
And a good
rhythm, her husband though is a hater
Nothing and
nobody could live up to his
Expectations,
he enjoys to instil fear, guilt and violence
He thrives on other people's pain
I think that runs in the family
His sister
is into slander, she tells things
Mostly about
me, that I haven’t even thought of yet
She also likes to point her finger at my failures
She has a daughter,
the daughter though is kind
She is pure love
Dreams to
be a writer
Or a
journalist, maybe a photographer
Rise up, little sister
Most
importantly, she wants to move out
I have a lot
of sympathy for her
I also would want to
Move out of my head
(I forgot the fearful one
The frightened one, the terror
Paranoia in her heart and head
Consistently scans the dark
For thugs and threats
She is terrified of life
Better not speak about that)
